As the wisteria which draped herself across the arbor in my parents backyard reached her peak blooming state, I felt a rush of inspiration and set out to capture it. Along the way, I got some unplanned, yet half-decent self portraits. Cheers to the unexpected!

As you may have heard by now, the global state of affairs has in essence, been in shambles for the past seven-ish months. I won’t go into detail, as there are COUNTLESS resources like this or that, but basically everyone has had to adjust the normalcy of their lives, in order to accommodate the ever-changing regulations given by their government health officials due to COVID-19.

Respectively, I figured I would write my post-grad update, which has been heavily influenced by this pandemic. I would like to preface this, however, by stating my gratitude. My country, Canada, and specifically, my province of British Colombia, has been handling this immaculately. No, we’re certainly not perfect, but I find most people to be handling this change of life to the best of their abilities. So, keep on keepin’ on, y’all.

SO. It has been a hot minute since I last wrote a post. At that point of my life, I was still studying, and there was not one sign (to me, at least) that there would be a global catastrophe. The remainder of my school life was drenched in the tears and sweat of the stresses that accommodate an overworked student’s brain. To say that it was an easy, organized, and smooth process would simply be a lie. I took it upon myself to work 15 hours a week, while simultaneously managing 5 courses, a social life, and attempting to pursue hobbies such as bouldering and photography. I was burning out. There is still a residual sense of this burn out that seeps into my daily life months later. A sense of anxiety lingers as I feel the constant need to be “doing more”, a feeling of incompetency for not pursuing grad school, and a constant craving for coffee to complete my daily tasks. These habits have been heavily infiltrated into my life, but I am working daily at managing them.

Being someone who thrives (i.e. gets more work done, and feels more productive) with a busy, full schedule, I saw this as something normal. Looking back, it evidently wasn’t. I lacked balance, time management skills, and control. You could imagine how this impacted me once the news of COVID hit. All of a sudden, myself, along with billions of others, were forced to step away from this buzz of life, and to instead relish in the simple, quiet subtleties of daily life. Not being able to leave my house was a struggle. I essentially had made it mandatory for myself to be productive either in coffee shops, or at the library. What’s more, is that I lived in a living room with not a whole hell of a lot of study space. Thankfully, these trivial aspects of my student life quickly withered and metamorphosed into new habits.

I found myself making endless cups of coffee and tea, while utilizing the pomodoro technique to maintain productivity. I wrote myself a master to-do list, which helped me feel more accomplished as I scratched each of my eight final assignments off. In the end, this paid off. My grades were surprisingly the best I have received for one semester during University, and I was DONE!

A week ago, I received my actual degree in the mail. It was possibly one of the most uneventful, understated, and underwhelming experiences to date. That piece of paper does nothing to exhibit my five years of studies. It doesn’t present the struggles, the achievements, the friendships, the heartbreaks, the gut-wrenching stress, the ecstatic highs, and the immense changes that occurred in my life. No, it pretty much just shows that I can assimilate myself to a system which allegedly opens doors in the corporate world.

This may sound bitter, or even ungrateful. That is not my intention. My reason for sharing is to talk about my experience, and my experience itself was one of change, growth, and perseverance. I do not believe I would have learned nearly as much about myself or the world around me without attending higher education, but that is just my opinion for me. Each of us understand and experience this world through a different lens. Our individual world’s are shaped by so much, and academia is just one lens some choose to look through. Anthropology has taught me that the best way to perceive anything, is holistically, and through several of these lenses. Humans, though a species that are constantly destructive, abysmal, and cruel, are also such a gift. We each offer something; to the world, to ourselves, and to each other. Humans have constantly been adaptable over time and space, and this tumultuous time is yet just another chance to test our adaptability, and our capacity for love, patience, and personal and communal growth.

So, I guess that’s it. Five years later, here I am. Sitting on the balcony of my new place, sipping on peppermint tea, as my words flow onto this computer screen. I can’t say getting to this point was easy, but I can say that it certainly was worth it (kinda).

M.